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7.16.2009

Your political contributions at work, Alaskans...

When you donate hard earned money to your favorite cause or political campaign, the last thing on your mind is that it will somehow be misused. Yet it happens all the time. Sometimes it approaches a high level of absurdity, such as with Palin on the campaign trail last year and her now legendary and whopping $150,000 shopping sprees in New York for expensive clothing intended to remake her image and the image of her entire family. But silk boxers, Todd? Really? Tighty-whities (in his case perhaps appropriately named) not GOOD enough?

I get BVD boxer briefs, $15 for a pack of three. A pack of three, Todd! When I'm feeling rich and powerful I even buy two packs of three! It's like total cheap thrill underwear nirvana, Todd. I can take the money I saved and turn it into some pocket T-shirts or the always desperately needed odd pair of socks AND if I have anything left I can slip off to Cinnabons while the "old ball and chain" is busy shopping for second hand Manolo Blahniks. Bonus! C'mon Todd, you've been to Eagle River, right? You know what I'm saying, buddy. Even though you're a north slope BP employee, it's not like you're made of money. Hell the secret Arctic Cat money barely pays for the expenses and clothing graft for you, your sweetie and your brood at the Irondog! Good thing those sleds are "at cost", eh?


Since I am powerdiving dangerously close to Maia Nolan territory here (on a return flight from Celtic Diva-land) I had better get back on track... I mean it's not like most people other than Madonna are parading around in underwear attempting to project some sort of image. Most people don't care. Underwear is a minor issue precisely because normally nobody sees your delicates. It's why they're called UNDERwear.


But why is it that we get our figurative panties in a knot over money given by the RNC to Palin and yet hardly anyone questions why and exactly how much campaign money Congressman Don Young is spending on legal fees? And for WHAT, exactly? Those little shopping spree gaffes by the Palin horde unleashed upon the Big Apple, now generally accepted by most level-headed and reasonable people as a misuse of campaign contributions, pale in comparison to expenditures of campaign contributions towards legal fees and legal services by Don Young. Like $266,835 spent on legal fees and $1,036,808 on legal services. That's over $1.3 MILLION! Why? Who knows?

The reasons for these fees are as hidden and unknowable to us as is the style, design and manufacturer of Todd's cushy boxers. Personally, the Palin episode is almost laughable as a misuse of campaign contributions compared to what Don Young is spending to pay off his lawyers. Sure, $150,000 is a lot to spend in a few weeks on clothes. I doubt I've spent that much on clothing in my entire life, but $1.3 MILLION of possibly misused campaign funds by our only congressman? WTF? That's ridiculous. More ridiculous is that the people who have contributed to Young's campaign aren't getting out the pitchforks for his wasting their hard earned money.

And yet Don remains mute, no doubt when pressed for details, claiming attorney/client privilege. The second to last refuge of scoundrels. (Quitting is the NEW "last refuge of scoundrels", by the way). Do the folks that give Mr. Young money to campaign care so little about how their contributions are being spent that they are willing to mindlessly bypass any accountability whatsoever? Man I wish I had that kind of "chump change" lying around. I might even buy myself an EXTRA three pack of BVDs!

-Laz

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